


In My Own Words

by WholockHobbit88



Series: Little Sherlock and John [12]
Category: Sherlock (TV), Sherlock Holmes & Related Fandoms
Genre: ABDL, Adult baby, Age Play, Daddy!John, M/M, Non-Sexual Age Play, POV First Person, baby!Sherlock - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-11-29
Updated: 2015-12-19
Packaged: 2018-05-04 00:13:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 9,130
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5312390
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WholockHobbit88/pseuds/WholockHobbit88
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>We know how John feels about being daddy to his little boy Sherlock but how does Sherlock feel when he's in little space? A first person perspective about how Sherlock feels when he's in little space.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Sorry it's been so long for an instalment in this series. I promise I haven't forgotten about our adorable babies! I have at least two stories planned and possibly more on the way. After nearly two years and over 100,000 words in this series, I thought it ironic that the entire thing has been from John, the caregiver's, perspective when I am not a caregiver at all. So, this story is from Sherlock's perspective, the baby perspective that I know best. I hope you all enjoy it!

I love what I do; if I didn't love it, I wouldn't have created the job. The world's only consulting detective; it's a job handpicked for me, the one job I could excel at. The thought of doing anything else seems impossible. Having to deal with people and their petty problems…dull. But being a consulting detective means I get to get deal with the most challenging and exciting problems. Solving crimes, picking apart murders; I'm at an odd peace doing that. I love to watch other people's rodent sized brains trying to process my deductions; they never understand but they try to. Sure, some people aren't too kind about it but who cares? They are fascinated whether they show it or not.

So I do my job with happiness; you might not believe that but it's true. I'm happy when I have a case, something for my mind to take hold of. But I can't do it indefinitely. I don't feel things like other people do; that's okay though. I'm glad I don't feel things like other people do; I feel them stronger, more intensely than others. That's caused problems for me in the past; drugs, dangerous living, hurting myself….. None of it was good but it was the only way to process my extreme feelings on my own. But now I have something better, so much better…..

John….

I'm so fortunate to have him, I can hardly remember what it was like before I had him to care me. I don't want to remember it because my life then lacked the color, the warmness and vibrancy that it does now.

As we ride along in the cab away from the Yard and toward 221B, I can already feel myself slipping; I almost climb into John's lap right in the backseat. But John cares about appearances so I don't; I don't want to embarrass him. He's staring out the window of the cab, yawning. He's just as tired as I am. I want nothing more than to crawl up into his warmth and go to sleep. When the cab stops on the curb next to our flat, I wait while John pays the cabbie and crawls out of the cab. I follow him eagerly, a little air taking hold of me. It's late and no one else is around; it's just me and John and I don't have to be strong. Sometimes it gets so bloody hard being strong and smart and the one with the answers all of the time. I like it when John has all the answers.

Since no one's around, I slip my hand into his and lean my head against his as we walk up to our flat. "Is my little boy feeling little already?" he asks, his voice already changing to a smaller one to accommodate me. I don't answer him, just rub my head against him and he pats my head.

As we get into the sitting room, my free hand strays to mouth, popping my thumb into my mouth and giving it a good, hard suck. It's not as good as a dummy but it'll do for now. As Daddy leads toward my bedroom, he notices my thumb and pulls it out. "Let's find you a dummy" he says. He doesn't let me suck my thumb; always talks about the germs. He thinks that my dummies are relatively clean compared to my fingers. But, I saw him suck his thumb once when he thought I wasn't looking.

Daddy takes me to my room and this is one of our favorite parts; when he takes away everything big about me and makes into a baby. Usually, it's what makes me feel little but I already feel so little. Impulsively I throw my arms around Daddy before he can go get my clothes. He's so warm and I rub my face against him, smelling his shampoo and strong coffee; I can hear his stomach growl and remember we didn't stop anywhere for him to eat today. I suddenly feel really bad about that.

"Someone is definitely cuddly tonight" Daddy says as I cling to him. I put my leg around him as if he could pick me up.

"Hold me, Daddy" I beg him. I want to crawl into his arms and have him cradle me.

"I can't pick you up like this, sweetie" Daddy reminds me. "You're too big and my old body wouldn't care for it. But let's get you changed and we can have a cuddle in bed, alright?"

"Okay" I say. My face in now in the crook of his neck, a part of him that tastes really, really good. I think about tasting him but that's something we only do when I'm big so I settle on giving him a playful bite there instead.

"You little sneak" Daddy says, pulling back when I bite him. "Look at you being all cuddly and then you bite me!" He tickles my stomach until I'm laughing so hard my stomach hurts. Daddy doesn't know it was a love bite.

"Sit down and I'll get your clothes" Daddy tells me after we stop tickling and laughing. I do as he tells me, glad to get out of the clothes that smell like car fumes, cigarette smoke and feel rough and wrong on my small skin. I watch Daddy go to my drawers and pull out a nappy and a onesie, glad when he returns to me with them a moment later.

"Alright, let's get my little one comfortable" Daddy says happily. He looks so tired, with dark bags under his eyes but he doesn't rush through it. He enjoys this as much as I do.

Daddy starts off by taking my long, beloved coat off. He reaches under it and pulls it off my shoulders, letting it fall back before he removes it completely. He drapes it over a chair in the corner; he knows its special to me. I look up at him wide, open eyes as he reaches down and begins to undo the buttons on my shirt, exposing my skin more with each button. His fingers trace along my skin as he moves further down, causing me to get goose bumps. He does this on purpose, wanting to touch me. For some reason he sees a beauty in my abused, broken body that no one else ever has. Even I don't understand what he can possibly see that he likes. It's one of the things that makes Daddy so great.

When he gets all of the buttons undone, he slips the shirt off too and then begins to work on my belt as I kick off my shoes. He pulls my trousers and pants off at the same time, leaving me cold and naked. I try to put my thumb back in my mouth but Daddy reaches over to the nightstand and grabs a dummy. It's my pirate one; it has a hole in it because I use it so much but I don't care. It's the first one Daddy ever gave me and it's my favorite. I suck on it contently, reaching for my blankie and putting it to my face as Daddy gets the nappy ready to put on me.

Daddy spreads the nappy out and I lift my bum slightly so that he can put it under me. Once it's under me, Daddy pulls the front between my legs and straightens it until it's just perfect before doing the tapes tightly around me. It feels just perfect; it's tight but not too tight. The warm cotton surrounds my bum and my private parts and it makes me feel safe. I don't have to worry about anything when I have a nappy on; I can just let it all go and know Daddy will be there to take care of it.

Daddy tickles my tummy again after he puts my nappy on, smiling at me tiredly. "Daddy, stop" I protest around my dummy but it's not very convincing because I'm laughing so hard.

"Sorry, couldn't resist" Daddy says, "You know, you have a very tickleable tummy"

I laugh a few more times as Daddy begins to stop his tickle attack and reach for my onesie. He pulls it over my head but my head gets stuck. "Oh! Where did my Sherlock go? Has he disappeared?" I hear Daddy say but all I can see is darkness. I start to worry, thinking I'll get stuck in the onesie trap forever when Daddy finally pulls it over my head.

"There's my Sherlock! Whoo! I thought I'd lost you!" he says with a grin. I realize then he's teasing.

"You're so silly, Daddy!" I tease him back, as he works my arms through the holes and goes to do the snaps between my legs.

"I'm so silly because you made me silly" Daddy teased and I know he's right. I can remember, but just barely, what it used to be like. John was never this silly and playful before our foray into age play.

"Now, you stay here little one while I go change into my own pyjamas, yeah?" Daddy asks.

But suddenly the idea that he will leave me is too much. I feel ever so clingy and needy; I won't be okay if he leaves me, even just for a moment. No! I come" I protest, holding my arms up get him.

"You really are needy tonight if I can't even leave to change" Daddy says but he doesn't sound angry about it. He sounds pleased.

Daddy helps me sit up and lifts me into a standing position, taking my hand as we walk to his room. When he we get to his bedroom, I waddle over and plop down loudly on his bed, my nappy crinkling. I suck hard on my dummy as rub my blanket over my face as I watch Daddy take his clothes off. Daddy always says he doesn't like taking his clothes off; he doesn't like anyone seeing him without clothes. He says he doesn't look good; he uses words like 'old' and 'soft'. I think though that he looks just perfect; I stare at him as he peels each layer off until he's just in his red pants. I laugh behind my dummy; those are my favorite of Daddy's pants.

I'm surprised when Daddy takes his pants off and goes to get a nappy out of his drawers. When he turns around he can see me watching him carefully and I can see him blush from across the room. "Do you have to ogle at me because I'm naked?" he asks but I know he's silently pleased. He knows what I'm going to say before I say it.

"You're pretty Daddy…..I have to stare" I tell him, glad to see him smile at my words.

"Well, as long as you think so, I suppose that's all that matters, right?" Daddy says, relaxing a bit now that he feels more confident.

I watch as Daddy puts his nappy on; I'm surprised to see he can put one on without even lying down. I don't think I could put a nappy on standing up but I don't change my own nappies much. Besides, Daddy wears his nappies almost all of the time so he has a lot of practice; he's used to changing in odd places.

Daddy puts an old pair of pyjama bottoms over his nappy and leaves his shirt off; I'm glad because I like cuddling into his skin with no clothes. Daddy walks over to me, petting my head as I look up at him. "How about we go get in bed and cuddle?" he asks, looking tired.

I feel tired; my eyes don't want to stay open but I force them. "Ba-ba first" I say tiredly. I want to drink my warm bottle and curl up into Daddy as I go to sleep.

Daddy smiles. "Sure, sweetie." He says and takes my hand to go toward the kitchen. Daddy puts milk into my blue bottle and puts it in the microwave to heat it up. I sit on the floor, even though its cold, at Daddy's feet while he waits, nuzzling his leg like a kitty cat. "Meow….meow…." I say quietly behind my dummy.

"Oh my, is my little boy a kitty cat now?" Daddy asks, laughing. I look up to see him smiling down at me and I playfully paw at his leg. "Meow…"I let it really sound kitty cat like this time.

"No wonder you wanted milk if you are a kitty now" Daddy says as he pulls my bottle out of microwave. To keep up my kitty cat act, I crawl all the way to the bedroom, "Meowing" the whole way.

Daddy climbs into my (our) bed and I follow him up into it, my knees tired from being a cat. Daddy lies back in his spot and I move over to my spot of the bed. The bed feels warm and soft and its then I really begin to feel our sleepy I am. Daddy turns the light off, knowing we'll both go to sleep before I finish my bottle. I lay on Daddy's chest, close to his shoulder (his okay shoulder, not the bad one) so we can both lie down as Daddy feeds me the bottle. I close my eyes as I feel the latex of the nipple poke at my mouth. I open my lips to let it pass into my mouth and begin to suck on it vigorously. I reserve one small victory; Daddy won't make me clean my teeth tonight after the bottle, we are both so tired.

The milk is warm and sweet and with each suck on the bottle I grow more and more sleepy. Daddy brushes the hair out of my face and places a wet kiss on my forehead. "Sleep good, my little detective. You did well today."

I smile so wide that the nipple nearly falls out of my mouth. I love it when Daddy tells me I did well; his opinion matters way more than anyone else.

"Love you, Daddy" I say. The bottle falls out of my mouth and rolls somewhere onto the bed. We both leave it there.

"I love you too, Sherlock" Daddy says and we drift off to sleep.


	2. Chapter 2

That night, I have a terrible nightmare. I often don't have nightmares, especially when I sleep with Daddy. Usually my sleep is peaceful and quiet. But tonight it's one of the worst nightmares I've had in a long time because it's not a fantasy my head made up, it's a memory, something that really happened to me.

It's the dark times; the times before I had Daddy, before I knew him at all. I couldn't stand the thoughts, all the thinking all the time. I didn't have anyone to care for me so I pushed my little side away. I used drugs to make it all go away. I dream it's the really bad times, the times where I was so addicted that I spent all of my days in a crack house. There were no cases, nobody…..nothing. Just the drugs…I would take the drugs and be happy, be still for a little while. Then they would wear off and I would wake up. I'd hurt so bad and be so desperate for more. Needles, pain…..ecstasy…..more pain….I dream it over and over again. Then my dream shifts to a specific memory. I was lying on the floor, shaking with withdrawal. I didn't have any more and I could feel the panic closing around my heart. There was a bad man there who wanted me to do things to him…..bad grown up things….to get more drugs. I said no and he tried to do it anyway. I stabbed him…..and there was so much blood…

I wake up, sitting up in bed, calling out and crying. Hot tears run down my face, spit collects in my mouth and I begin to chock on it. I'm crying so hard I can't possibly stop it; my nose begins to run indignantly. I felt like I might pee on myself; remembering my nappy, I let it all go. It rushes around my privates hot and quick but I don't take any pleasure in it this time. I'm too focused on how I can't breathe I've cried so hard.

Then there's a light being turned on and Daddy is waking up. "Sherlock…aw…..sweetie, what's wrong?" his voice is calm and concerned. Suddenly, there's those strong, solider-Daddy arms around me and I lean into his chest. He rocks me back and forth; I breathe in and out as he rocks both ways, how he taught me to when I hyperventilate. It helps; my breath evens and my tears don't come so fast now.

"Did you have a bad dream, love?" Daddy asks, pulling me into his lap when I can breathe again. He puts his arm around my back and cradles me against the pillows so I can look up at him.

"Yeah….really bad" I tell him. "It was a terrible adult dream."

"Want to tell me about it?" Daddy asks.

"No" I say firmly. "It was from the bad times…..before I met you. In the drug house…" I realize then I said wasn't going to tell him but I already did. I've had the dream before but this was first time I told him about it. I never knew if I killed that man or not and it haunted me. I used to cry alone in my bed at night, before John knew my secret and I didn't have anyone to comfort me.

But Daddy knows enough about the bad times to be able to comfort me. "Well, good thing that's all past, right?" he says encouragingly. "We're together now and nothing could ever, ever change that. And you're never going back to a drug house, because you're a good boy, right?"

I feel guilt hit the pit of my stomach; it's not been that long ago that I was a very bad boy and took drugs when Daddy was away. "It's not been that long since I was a bad boy" I say sadly.

Daddy runs his thumb along my cheeks, soothing me. "Nonsense…you can't think like that" he says, "We all make mistakes but you're a good boy and it really has been quite a while since that happened. Besides, that was partly Daddy's fault for leaving you like that."

Daddy glances around the room as if he's looking for something. "Hey, why don't you get a book and I can read you a story before we turn out the lights, yeah?" he says hopefully.

Listening to a story sounds nice; without much energy left and my heart still beating quick, I lean over the side of the bed and grab the first book I come across. Cat in the Hat; not my favorite but all the rhyming words get Daddy tongue tied sometimes and that's funny.

I hand Daddy the book and lay back on his chest as he leans into the pillow. I feel much safer and calmer now; I find my dummy in the sheets where it fell out when I was screaming and cuddle my blankie.

Daddy retrieves his reading glasses off of the nightstand and puts them on. Its new, Daddy's glasses; he hates them, thinks they make him look old but I love them. I think they make him look really smart. He opens the book and I gaze at the pictures while Daddy reads to me.

"The sun did not shine, it was too wet to play, so we sat in the house, all that cold, cold, wet day. I sat there with Sally, We sat there, we two, And I said, "How I wish we had something to do!"

After a while, I don't listen to the words so much as just the sound of Daddy's voice. I close my eyes; I listen to the beating of his heart under my ear and the sound of his voice with my other ear and let myself calm until I drift off to sleep.

….

When I wake up the next morning, the sun in streaming through the window as the sunrises. Daddy's still sleeping, snoring even, and I crawl out of bed so he doesn't wake up. I walk down the hallway and into the sitting room. I turn the telly on, flipping through channels until I come to My Little Pony. It's a girl's show but I still like it. I start to think about how Daddy likes me in my dress he bought me. He thinks I'm so pretty and he plays with my hair and tries to nibble me up I look so good. I start to feel all warm and blushy and grown up so I turn away from the telly and try to find my Legos to play with.

I find them over by my chair in the big blue box Daddy bought to put them in. I dump them all over the floor because Daddy's not awake to tell me no and begin to sort through them. I sort them by color and then size, before I begin to snap them together. I'm going to make a castle for my Anna and Elsa dolls and put my dinosaurs around the edges to protect it. I get lost in the task and before I know it, I hear footsteps walking down the hallway and toward me.

"Daddy!" I say so loud that my dummy falls out of my mouth and hits the floor. Daddy's rubbing his eyes tiredly and yawning as I throw myself at him.

"Morning, sweetie" Daddy says, hugging me back. I can his nappy rustle, but just slightly. Daddy wears cloth backed nappies so they aren't so loud like my plastic ones.

"Morning! I'm so glad you're up!" I say. My heart is happy, beating fast now that Daddy is here with me. I pull back from our hug and crawl back on the floor to my castle.

"Oh, what have we got here?" Daddy asks as he sits in his chair and leans down to inspect my creation.

"This is my castle for Anna and Elsa" I explain, putting them inside the Lego castle. "And the dinosaurs are going to protect them from bad guys" I point to the dinosaurs.

Daddy grins at me. "That is lovely, Sherlock. You did a good job" he praises me and I feel like I'm glowing inside.

I climb up into Daddy's lap, putting my arms around his neck and holding on. I nestle into him and watch the telly, getting lost in Finding Nemo on the screen. I like Finding Nemo; I love how much the daddy looks for Nemo.

Daddy lets me watch for a few minutes but then I hear his stomach growl again and remember he didn't eat for a long time. "I need to go make breakfast, love" Daddy says, placing a kiss to my temple.

"Not hungry" I say, curling up further into him. I want to stay on his lap even though I know he's hungry.

"Well, maybe you aren't hungry but I am" Daddy says "And even if you're not hungry, you have to eat something."

"Aw…why?" I pout, sticking my lip out. Cuddling is so much more fun than eating.

"Because you have to be healthy and you can't be healthy if you don't eat" Daddy says. "What would you rather have? Eggs or oatmeal or toast?"

"Nothing" I say, crossing my arms because I hate eating.

"If you don't pick, I'll pick for you and you'll have to eat whatever I pick" Daddy says firmly.

Daddy can be tough sometimes so I go for what I know works best. I put my legs around Daddy, straddling his lap, wrapping my arms around his neck. I put my face into his neck, nuzzling it with my nose. "Cuddle me daddy" I beg him, nuzzling even harder. Daddy loves it and I can feel a shiver run through him.

Daddy's hands run along my back and I'm sure I have won now. I kiss his neck, feeling his goose bumps against my lips. "Sherlock…"he says. His voice is quiet and I'm sure I've won now.

Daddy's arms pull me close to him and I can feel his face in my neck now. Lips are on my neck kissing me and I think Daddy's being naughty. Something inside of me changes; Daddy's not kissing me gentle, but rough and all of the breath goes out of me. I try to hold onto being little but it's gone; very adult feelings are running through me now as I grab the back of his head and nibble on his ear.

"John…"I whisper, because he's not Daddy right now, as he kisses along my neck so fast and warm and delightful my toes curl.

John's mouth goes to cover my own, making his name disappear in my mouth and then we're kissing and its…

I love the kissing…..

I'm moving along John's lap as he kisses me but it doesn't quite feel right because we're both wearing nappies. Something inside me snaps again. I suddenly don't know if this should feel right or not. I can't figure out if I feel like he's daddy I want to cuddle or John that I want to do much more than cuddle with. I pull back until I can figure it out.

When I look back Daddy (it seems more appropriate now) he seems embarrassed and I feel a little embarrassed. I was only playing and I didn't mean for that to happen. "Sorry…I didn't mean to do that. You little sneaky thing jumped me" he says. He's joking but I know I made him uncomfortable. It's hard to go from big to little and back again sometimes.

"That was my fault…..sorry" I say sheepishly. I stick my thumb into my mouth because it needs something to do and Daddy doesn't even stop me this time.

"It's okay" Daddy kisses me on the forehead. "You nearly got me to forget about breakfast"

"I did?" I ask slyly. Daddy slid me off his lap and into the chair while he gets up.

"Nearly" he says with a smile as he walks toward the kitchen. "I want you to pick up all of those spare Legos while I'm cooking."

I nod and stare at the telly screen as Daddy disappears. I feel a little confused; I curl up in Daddy's chair and it smells like him which is nice. I suck on my thumb for a while, trying to get it to soothe me but I don't get the result I want. I hop down from Daddy's chair to go find my dummy on the floor. My bladder starts to protest, I think it has been for a while and I let it go. My nappy was already wet from earlier and bunched up so it fills up in all of the wrong places when I let my bladder go. It holds, except for a little bit that comes out of the side but I don't care.

I find my dummy laying on the floor next to my chair and pop it into my mouth, sucking on it furiously but it doesn't calm me. If anything, I get more frustrated and annoyed. I don't understand why I suddenly feel so full of feelings when I was feeling so good before. I feel a burst of angry energy run through me and I sweep my hand across the castle that I made, shattering into dozens of multicolored pieces and rolling across the floor. It made me feel a little better but not much. I hit the pieces again and again until they have now covered the whole floor, hoping it'll make me feel better but it never does.

"Sherlock, what are you doing?" Daddy asks, coming out of the kitchen and looking at the mess in the floor that I made. I sit up on my knees, crossing my arms over my chest. I feel a little embarrassed.

"Nothing" I huff out angrily.

"Its time to eat breakfast" Daddy explains. "I already told you to pick up your toys and now you've made a bigger mess. That's not very good listening, is it?"

"I don't want any damn breakfast!" I bark at Daddy. I know Daddy told me to do it already and I know I'm being ugly but I can't stop it. One day I'll let Daddy see so much of my ugliness that he'll finally leave me. But it hasn't happened yet.

Daddy's eyes darken angrily. He puts his hands on his hips and I know I've messed up now. "Excuse me?" he asks in a deep voice. "Did you just curse at me young man?" Daddy isn't using his captain voice but its close. He hates it when I talk like a grown up when I'm little. I've eaten a lot of soap for my dirty mouth.

I shake my head furiously but it only makes Daddy madder. "Sherlock, if you lie to me that will only make things worse" he warns dangerously. "Now, repeat what you just said to me."

I cross my arms harder and stare up at Daddy from my spot on the floor. It's worse now that he's making me repeat myself. "I said, I don't want any damn breakfast" I repeat sullenly.

"I asked you to clean up your toys and come eat breakfast. What should you have said?" Daddy asks.

I feel another wave of emotion come over me, like a wall inside my heart and comes crashing down. Stupid breakfast; I never wanted to eat anyway. We should still be cuddling. I throw my dummy across the room where it hits the kitchen table; it doesn't make me feel better. "I don't want to eat!" I say impatiently. Fine, there, I said it without cursing…

But Daddy is NOT happy. That's not what he wanted me to say and I know it.

"What you should have said was, 'yes, daddy' with no arguing and no bad words" Daddy tells me, hands on hips, glaring down at me. "If you start cleaning up your toys right now, I will only wash your mouth out and not give you a spanking."

It feels so unfair; even if I pick up my toys I still have to have Daddy shove soap into my mouth. And really, this is all his fault anyway! I told him that I didn't want to eat and he left to make breakfast anyway…it's his fault!

I throw myself on the floor and start screaming. I hit my fists against the floor, trying to cry but my cries are dry. I hope that Daddy will soften but when I turn my head around to see how he's reacting to my fit, he's angry.

"Fine…..you want to do this the hard way" Daddy says angrily as he grabs my arm and yanks me up; it hurts. Daddy's fingers dig into my arm as he drags me into the bathroom. He turns the light on and throws me down into the closed toilet lid. When I see Daddy reaching for the soap bottle, the tears I wanted to cry earlier have found me now. Daddy's really going to wash my mouth out and give me a spanking. My mouth wont taste like Daddy kisses soon but nasty soap bubbles and all because I said damn; Daddy's mouth is way filthier than mine.

"Daddy, I'm sorry…..please…I'm sorry" I beg him. "I'll clean up my toys, I'll eat breakfast…please let's just stop this" My face is a snotty, slobbery mess and I know I am not looking as cute as I could but I hope he'll take pity on me.

But Daddy isn't falling for it. "Sherlock, you didn't listen to me after I asked you to do it, twice. And as far as your dirty mouth, you know better"

I start whimpering, crocodile tears running down my cheeks; I did know better and I still did it. I am always letting Daddy down.

"I don't like doing this" Daddy explains in a stern but not so angry voice "But you know better than to say dirty words and then lie about it."

I am still crying as I watch Daddy put the soap on his hands. He does it the hard way; no bar of soap to simply sit in your mouth. He uses hand soap so it sticks around and really makes an impression.

"Open your mouth" Daddy orders me and I know better than to argue with him. I stop crying long enough for Daddy to put the soap on my tongue and across the inside of my cheek. Its taste fills up everything I can taste and I try not to cry because the saliva will only make it worse.

"Sherlock, you know better than to say bad words" Daddy explains as he wipes his hands off. "We've went over time and again about how little boys use kind words."

The soap tastes so nasty that it's all that I can think about. "Go ahead and spit but no rinsing yet." Daddy says.

I stand up from the toilet and spit the soap into the sink; Daddy won't let me clean my teeth until later. I spit several times, trying to rid myself of as much soap as possible.

"You know, Sherlock, I'm really very disappointed in you. We're already starting the day off poorly and you know better" Daddy says. He gives me a few firm smacks on the bum and I jump, unprepared for it.

"Sit on the carpet right here and don't move until I come back to get you" Daddy orders me and walks out of the room.

I fall to the rug in the bathroom, dissolving into tears. I call out Daddy's name and sob but he doesn't come back. The spanking hardly hurt at all; Daddy didn't even take off my nappy like he usually does to spank me. But he's disappointed in me. I want Daddy to always think I'm cute and smart and fun…I hate disappointing him. I don't know why I did it; I wasn't trying to be bad. I love Daddy so much.

I curl up on the rug even though it smells musty and is dirty on the bathroom floor. I want my blankie but I don't have it and I regret throwing my dummy in the kitchen even though my mouth still tastes so bad. I put the hem of my onesie in my mouth and suck on it until I calm down, taking big breaths until tears are running down my face without sound.

Its forever until Daddy comes back. I see him sideways as I lay on the floor, tears dried on my face and snot running down my face and to where my onesie is still in my mouth. Daddy has my blankie in his hands but he doesn't give it to me right away. He puts it on the bathroom counter and comes to sit on the bathroom floor next to me.

"Here, sit up and talk to me, love" Daddy encourages me. I sit up and look at him, miserable. I want this part over with so I can get cuddles.

"Have you thought about what you did that was a bad choice, Sherlock?" Daddy asks me.

I nod, spitting out my onesie; it leaves a nasty wet spot around my neck. "I said a grown up word and I didn't pick up my toys." I say, my lip pouting out.

"That's right" Daddy tells me, "You need to listen when Daddy tells you to do something and not throw a fit when you don't get your way."

"I'm not bad" I whine, feeling sadness consume me. I really wasn't trying to be bad.

"Hey, hey, sweetheart" Daddy whispers, holding my face in his hands so I have to look at him. "I know you're not bad. You are a lovely little boy, you just make bad choices sometimes. Everyone makes bad choices, even Daddy."

I feel tears in my eyes again and all I want is for Daddy to hold me. "Hold me, Daddy!" I whimper, holding out my arms.

"Of course, sweetheart" Daddy says, opening his arms. I climb onto Daddy's lap, wrapping my arms and legs around him. He's warm, his strong arms encircling me; I feel so protected and safe. I lay my head on his shoulder and cry a little bit; it feels good for him to hold me but I'm still upset that I didn't listen.

"Were you maybe upset because of what happened earlier?" Daddy asks gently, petting my hair. "Did being grown up confuse you?"

I think about it; it was a little confusing. I like kissing Daddy-John- a lot. But its new and powerful and sometimes it still is confusing. I was so big for a moment and then I was little…..I was all jumbled.

"I like the kissing…..the being grown up" I insist, pulling back and looking at Daddy.

"I know you do" Daddy says, wiping my tears off my cheeks. "but it can still confuse you. It's all new."

"I was just grown up and then I was little fast" I explain. "It was a little confusing"

"Yeah" Daddy agrees, nodding his head, "that's confusing. Would you like to be big now and we can do more grown up stuff? Or you can stay little? Either way, I'll be happy to spend the day with you. Your choice"

It's a hard choice; I really think it'd be fun kissing Daddy all day. But I'm really feeling very little and I don't think I could stay big right now. "I think I'll be little" I say a bit sheepishly, not knowing it that's really okay with Daddy or not.

Daddy grins. "Okay, love. That sounds great" he says. "Let's get you changed out of that wet nappy and eat our breakfast. But first let's clean your teeth"

I get off of Daddy's lap and walk over to the sink. Daddy grabs my spaceship toothbrush and puts the sparkly kind of toothpaste on it. "You want to do it or Daddy do it?" he asks.

I feel very little. "Daddy do it" I say and open my mouth.

"Alright, show me those pretty teeth" Daddy encourages me and I open wider so that Daddy can brush my teeth. I feel my mouth fill up with froth as Daddy scrapes the toothbrush along my teeth. He's rougher than me but I don't care; my teeth are extra dirty.

"Alright, spit" Daddy tells me, taking the toothbrush out. I spit into the sink and rinse my mouth out with water, feeling so much better now that I don't taste like soap.

"Now that that's done, time to get that soaked nappy off of you" Daddy tells me, taking my hand. As we walk down the hallway toward my bedroom, I can feel the wetness now very keenly between my legs, cold and heavy. A new nappy will be nice.

I lay down on my bed as Daddy gets the supplies and picks out my day clothes. I see he picked out my dino shirt with matching shorts; I like those.

Daddy begins to sing as he takes off my onesie. "Baby and I were baked in a pie, The gravy was wonderfully hot! We had nothing to pay, To the baker that day, And so we crept on out of the pot!" He tickles my tummy at the end and I start giggling.

"That's….a….terrible…..song…..Daddy!" I exclaim through my laughing. "We can't be baked in a pie!"

Daddy laughs along with me. "Well, maybe you're right" he agrees and starts on another song. "Do your ears hang low? Do they wobble to and fro? Can you tie them in a knot? Can you tie them in a bow? Can you throw them o'er your shoulder, Like a Continental Soldier? Do your ears hang low?!"

Daddy tugs on my ear lobes as he sings the song and makes me giggle all the more. Daddy is so silly. "My ears will hang low if you keep pulling on them!" I protest but I'm laughing.

"Well, I don't want to mess up those cute little ears so I suppose I must leave them alone" Daddy says with a laugh, letting his hands fall from my ears and going to my nappy. He sings softly while he works, a tune we both like. "Dance to your Daddy, My little baby, Dance to your Daddy, My little lamb. You shall have a fishy in a little dishy, You shall have a fishy when the boat comes in."

When Daddy undoes the tapes on my nappy, I feel a rush of cold air hit my private area and tense slightly before relaxing. Daddy takes a wipe and begins to clean me and for a moment I'm even colder and wetter. But it doesn't last long before Daddy is pulling the wet nappy out from under me and placing a dry, warm one in its place. Daddy sprinkles powder on me and I laugh a little at the feel of it hitting my skin and puffing into the air before it settles. Daddy pulls the nappy tight around me and does the tapes, making it snug and secure.

"There we go, all dry and warm!" Daddy announces as he throws the wet nappy in a bag for the trash and goes to my clothes. He pulls the shirt on me first and then helps me into my shorts. "What an adorable little dino dude" he proclaims when he's finished, squeezing my tummy.

I laugh endlessly until he stops; I like it when Daddy says nice things about me. "Okay, breakfast time" he announces and walks me toward the kitchen.

Really, I want to protest because I still don't want breakfast but that's what started all of this so I just do as he says and walk with him to the kitchen.


	3. Chapter 3

I concentrate hard on the crayon as it makes its way over the paper, careful to stay in the lines. My crayons breaks and it makes scrunch up my face in anger; I hate it when they do that. But I'm coloring the picture for Daddy so I keep at it. I pause for a moment, taking a drink out of my sippy cup before I select another crayon from my lunchbox that holds all of my crayons. I suck on the cup hard to get the juice out. I love the juice best but Daddy only gives it to me if I drink water too. I don't like drinking water but I do it anyway so I can have the juice. I look over at Daddy sitting in his chair, deeply engrossed in reading a book. If I was big I could deduce a great many things about what he's reading, how it affects him, what he's thinking…..but I don't. I just watch him and think it's nice. He turns the page and I set my cup down, going back to my coloring.

There's something really calming about coloring; it takes almost no thinking to do it and yet there's something really freeing in that. Just pushing the crayons around, only paying attention to staying in the lines makes it easy to think about nothing. I feel only the smallest tinge of bladder needing attention before I very easily let it go. I don't even stop coloring, I just let my bladder go and feel the warmness spread through the front of my nappy. That's the great thing about nappies; you don't even have to stop what you're doing to make a wee and it feels pretty good too. I look over at Daddy again and know he's wearing a nappy. I love that Daddy likes wearing nappies. I like how they look on him but more than that I like being able to share it with him. Even when we're big we can sometimes just enjoy watching some crap telly sitting in our nappies together. Daddy's great.

I finish coloring the Avengers page I was working on and tear it out of the coloring book. I sit up on my knees to examine my work, see if it's good enough for Daddy. I squint at it and decide that it's perfect; I hope Daddy likes it.

I get off of the floor and go stand by Daddy's chair. "Daddy…..daddy….look" I say, excitement filing me up as I wait for him to look up from what he's doing.

Daddy looks up from his book and smiles at me as I hold the picture out for him. "Oh look at that coloring! That is lovely!" Daddy tells me, setting his book aside. I gratefully climb onto his lap and hand him the picture.

"It's for you, Daddy" I tell him and my heart does a little flutter when he grins.

"Thank you Sherlock, that is really very good. I love it. I'm going to hang it on the refrigerator" Daddy tells me and I feel my smile gushing off of my face at his praise.

Just then there's a knock on the door. "Hello?" Its Nana-Mrs. Hudson- at the door.

"Nana!" I say in excitement. Daddy groans and I realize that I'm bouncing on his leg too hard.

"Oh there are my precious boys" Nana coos at us, walking over to where we're sitting. I hold out my arms for her and she gives me a warm hug. She smells like biscuits and stew.

"Hi Nana!" I say, clapping my hands in excitement when she pulls back and takes a spot in my chair across from us.

"Hello, Sherlock. How are you doing today?" she asks me.

"I'm good!" I tell her excitedly. "I built a castle and colored and made Daddy a picture!"

"Sounds like you've had a big day" she tells me, her eyes wide.

"What are you into today, Mrs. Hudson?" Daddy asks Nana. He begins to rub my back and I lean into his touch, calming down.

"Oh, the usual" Nana tells him. "Ran some errands, the bank, the supermarket, all dull really" She smiles at us. "I want to invite you two to dinner, if you'd like to come"

"Of course we'll come" Daddy tells her and I clap my hands again in excitement. I love having dinner at Nana's.

….

"A whole new world! A new fantastic point of view, No one to tell us no or where to go, Or say we're only dreaming!" I sing at the top of my lungs as the film plays. I dance around the room as Nana and Daddy watch me and I feel myself swelling with pride. I love singing and dancing when they are watching because they love it so.

"Oh, what a beautiful voice you have Sherlock!" Nana trills at me when I'm done singing. I trot over to her chair, sitting in the floor next to it since Daddy told me I'm too heavy to sit on Nana's lap. "I could just listen to you sing all day!" she says and pets my hair. I feel like a cat again but I don't meow to Nana.

"Would you like some dessert?" Nana asks me and I immediately turn around and look at her with excitement. "I have some chocolate cake in the kitchen. If Daddy says it's alright"

I look over hopefully at Daddy. I was good and ate all of my dinner even though I found it tedious and too much. I know Daddy won't let me have dessert if I don't eat dinner.

"You ate your dinner well, you can have dessert" Daddy tells me and I'm instantly up and running for the kitchen. I'm already sitting on my knees at the kitchen table when Nana comes in. I watch her in anticipation as she cuts the cake and puts it on the plate. It feels a little like it takes forever and I bounce as I wait for her.

Nana comes back to the table with a plate for her and me; Daddy didn't want any though I've no idea why. "Thanks Nana!" I say, remembering my manners as I grab my fork and tuck into the cake. It is so sweet and delicious and the icing sticks to my tongue and lips. I've already eaten half of it before I ever realize it.

"So, things between you and Daddy are going well" Nana comments, looking at me with a twinkle in her eye as she eats her cake in small, dainty, grown-up bites.

"Yeah, I'm always happy with Daddy" I say between bites full of cake. Then I remember that's rude, or at least Daddy says so, and wait between bites to talk.

"But you two seem even closer than before" Nana comments. "You were always close but now you seem almost giddy around each other."

"I suppose it's the kissing" I say, scrapping the icing off of the plate with my fork. "Daddy really loves all of the kissing. I do too"

"Oh, so you're kissing now?" Nana asks. The way she says it makes me realize that maybe I shouldn't have said anything. It was a grown up thing after all.

"Uh…yeah" I say but feel odd. Maybe Daddy-John- wouldn't like me to say.

"Oh, don't get quiet on me" Nana teases. "I don't want to pry. You don't have to tell me anything you don't want. I just wondered."

"Me and Daddy love each in all ways now, except….." I say, taking my last bite of cake.

"Except for what?" Nana asks, leaning forward curiously.

"Maybe I shouldn't say…..it's grown up" I say looking around to make sure Daddy isn't listening.

Nana grins. "I won't tell anyone" she promises.

I feel like I can tell her. "I love Daddy in all ways now except that we don't….you know….sex" I whisper the naughty word and then cover my chocolate covered hands over my mouth and giggle. Nana is giggling too. "I'm not really supposed to say that…..it's naughty but it's true. We don't do that yet, just the kissing. I love him lots, you know."

Nana gives me a warm smile that makes even my heart feel like it's growing warm. She reaches across the table and takes my hand, squeezing it. "I know you do sweetie…you have for a long time. I'm glad you two can share that now" she says, looking like she might cry even though she's happy. Silly…

"Me too" I agree and now I'm the one that feels like I could cry even though I'm happy. I don't understand it; I just know I love John so much and am so happy that he loves me too.

…..

When Daddy washes my hair, it's one of the best feelings in the world. I close my eyes and sigh as I feel his hands work through my curls, the scent of sweet shampoo filling the room. In the beginning he wasn't that good at it but now that he knows how to do it good, I love it. His hands are just rough enough they feel like they're scratching my scalp but not so rough and hard that they hurt me. He scrubs the top and back, then last the sides by my ears and I smile; it's a bit like a dog getting petted. He tells me to lean back and gives me a flannel to cover my face with while he rinses my hair. The warm but cooling water (Daddy said I had played in the tub long enough) runs through my hair and down my back, taking all of the bubbles with it.

Daddy squeezes my hair out a bit so it doesn't run in my eyes. "Someone's hair is getting quite long…..think it's about time for a haircut" he comments.

"I hate haircuts" I grumble and I really do. Daddy won't do it, he's too afraid of messing up my 'beautiful locks' as he calls them. But I hate having some stranger touch me and my hair while they cut it.

"I know" Daddy says, "But maybe, we can go tomorrow and afterwards we can get lunch out and go to the park"

That makes it all worth it! I clap my hands and hop up and down in the water in excitement. "Yes! Let's do it! Please, can we Daddy?" I beg.

Daddy smiles. "As long as Lestrade doesn't call us, we have the whole day free and open so I don't see why not"

Daddy puts soap on the flannel and wipes it along my body. It tickles but feels good as it runs along my skin and leaves bubbles behind. After Daddy rinses it off, he gets a towel.

"Out of the water, little duck" He teases as I stand up and he wraps the towel around me.

"I'm not a duck" I say, "ducks are for babies"

"I thought you were my little baby" Daddy says as he dries me off.

"I am your little baby…but I'm a shark, not a duck" I insist. I press my teeth on his arm but don't bite him; I'm just being playful.

"Oh…..so you're a baby shark?" Daddy clarifies. "Just don't bite Daddy shark"

"That's how sharks kiss" I tell Daddy because he doesn't know.

"Oh, well of course they do" Daddy says and then he gives me a playful bite on the shoulder.

"Ow!" I say even though it doesn't hurt that much. "You can't bite me! I changed my mind! You're not a shark! Just me!"

Daddy takes the towel and wraps it around me so that I can't move my arms, pulling me toward him as he sits on the closed toilet. He brings me to his lap and kisses me gently on the cheek. "If you are a shark, I have to be a shark because I will always be your Daddy" he tells me, pulling me close.

I couldn't get away if I tried and I don't try because this is it; this is the best. Daddy holding me and loving me so much…..this is what it's all about.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That's the end of another story in this series. I hope you enjoyed it; drop a comment to let me know what you thought of it. I plan on publishing another story in this series very soon :)


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